HOME AT LAST, D.J.

HOME AT LAST, D.J.

As a child, I occasionally attended a fundamental Bible church. When I was thirteen, I was baptized along with my younger sister and a few others our age. Although I was sincere in my baptism it really didn't have much of an effect on my life.

Shortly after I graduated from high school I moved out of state with my best friend and got a job at the same company she worked for. I spent most of my life working and partying, looking for something or someone to satisfy me. During this time, at least twice, the Lord called me, but I didn't respond. I don't know if it was because I was too self-conscious to confess Him or if I just hadn't sunk low enough yet. Well, He arranged the environment so that I finally just said, “God, if this is all there is to life, then You might as well just take me and get it over with.”

Not long after I spoke this, I found myself quitting my job, hopping on a Greyhound bus, and going across the country to live with my grandmother. It just so happened that her cousin's daughter, a believer who was about ten years older than I, lived next door. For some strange reason, I found myself wanting to spend more and more time over there. This dear sister was always telling me about Jesus, and although I had heard much about Him while I was growing up, her speaking was somewhat different. She really knew Him. And after all her sharing, I decided I wanted to receive this One, too. So one night, alone in my room, I asked the Lord to come into my heart.

Well, He came in, and not only did the world seem like a better place all of a sudden, but I found that all I wanted to do was stay in my room, read the Bible and talk to Him. Then I began looking for a church. I started going back and forth between a Baptist denomination and a Pentecostal denomination with my aunt and uncle, who seemed unable to decide which one they preferred. After a while, my love for the Lord seemed to be cooling down, and before I knew it, I was back with the old crowd and sinking back into the world.

Shortly thereafter, I got married to an unbeliever, knowing that we were “unequally yoked”. This was confirmed by my aunt's faithful speaking, along with the witness of the Lord within me. Nevertheless, I was headstrong and took my own way, thinking I could change my husband. Not long afterwards, I began to hunger again for fellowship and started “church-hopping”. I had heard that the Nazarenes were supposed to be sincere and holy people, so I tried that denomination. After one visit, I realized that it was not what I was looking for. Then, I went to a fundamental Bible church. I did enjoy the speaking of the Word, but one night at a prayer meeting the pastor strongly implied through his prayer that there was a new one who needed to be saved, and I knew he was talking about me. I went home and wept bitterly. I knew that I had been saved and the Lord knew it, too. How dare he presume that I was not saved! Well, I never went back.

My next stop was an Assembly of God meeting. After just a few months of attending this denomination, my husband and I were paid a visit by the pastor, in which he shared the matter of tithing. I found this to be quite bothersome; if anything, he should have been sharing about the gospel with my husband, not about tithing. Also, the Sunday school superintendent happened to be my boss, and his work ethics were certainly not representative of a Christian.

After some time, my mom sent me a book by Watchman Nee entitled The Normal Christian Life. The cover of the book was very Chinese-looking and, at that time, I felt that anything Chinese had to be Communist. So I prayed to the Lord, “Lord, you have to show me what is wrong with this book, so I can save my mother!” Well, He did show me something, but it was not what I had expected. He showed me a real, genuine, believer who knew the Lord and knew the Word. I could really relate to some of the writer's experiences.

We were scheduled to visit my parents soon, and when we did, I attended, with my mom, some gatherings of believers who were practicing the local church life. I knew right away that this was what I was looking for. When I returned home I began meeting with some believers about 45 minutes away from my home who were also taking this way. That was 28 years ago; and I have never desired to go anywhere else. There was an “Amen” within me at that time--and there still is.

I would just like to testify to the writings of Watchman Nee and Witness Lee. Every time I read them, I am enlightened and encouraged to press on in the Christian race. They always direct me to the Lord and to His Word. My only desire is that I would be faithful to pass on to others what has been passed on to me.